more than just words

loving you feels like breathing it’s an involuntary impulse my body’s way of surviving when my heart no longer responds and even if I wanted to i would not know how to stop i would not know how to erase the memories that linger of your touch the soundtrack of my life is composed by your voice your presence remains present in my attempts to move on but there is nothing beyond you there is nothing beyond us a lifetime of love fulfilled and an eternity to mourn the loss

 you take away the rays of sun and leave me at the mercy of the night sky with no offer of a beautiful sunset or lights to guide my path with you i am in the dark surrounded by the overwhelming sound of doubt and the steady hum of silence a slow and painful torture of the mind a weapon only meant for me a weapon only you can yield when the day no longer serves you i am left to chase your love blindly

Genre: Romance Reading age: 18+ Rating: 7/10 You’ll like this if you’ve read: the Shatter Me series, Ugly Love I’ve been in a reading slump for the longest time, after reading a really confusing fantasy novel. So I was on the hunt for something easy to read, romantic and steamy - and Lauren Asher did not disappoint! This is your typical marriage of convenience, enemies to lovers type book. And even though I knew where it was heading, I couldn’t bare to put this down (Yes, I completed it in 24 hours). It does have some deeper themes of domestic violence, childhood trauma and neurodiversity but Asher touches on these very loosely. The story follows a young billionaire Declan and his assistant Iris, who enter a contractual agreement to help Declan acquire a large inheritance and gain control of his family business. Declan is your typical handsome but cold protagonist with daddy issues and only seems to be moved by a very cheerful Iris, even though he doesn’t like to admit it. ...

Genre: Fantasy/Romance Reading age: 16+ Rating: 7/10 You’ll like this if you liked The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes or Wicked The Musical. I love a prequel and I love seeing the human side to a villain, so when I found out that this book was a prequel to Alice in Wonderland, and the Queen of Hearts was the main character, I knew it would be right up my street. That being said if you’ve watched or read Alice in Wonderland, you know that the story sort of makes you feel like you’re going mad - Or that you’re reading a 10 year old ‘but it was all a dream’ school essay. Well, the prequel is no different. It's extremely creative and the world building is very patiently curated but it's also by no means an easy read. I kind of felt like Marissa Meyers wanted me to be confused. And although she did capture the magic of the story really well, it sometimes felt so far fetched that it was difficult to properly immerse myself into the plot. That being said once you reach the half way po...

Genre: Romance /Coming of Age /Drama Reading age: 18+ Rating: 7/10 You’ll like this if you’ve watched or read End of the F***ing World, It’s Kind of a Funny Story or anything which blends love and mental health. One of my favourite booktokkers always raves about this book, and as it’s black history month, it felt wrong not to read a book by a black author… so I picked up Seven Days in June by Tia Williams. The first thing that must be mentioned is that this story should be plastered with trigger warnings - self harm, substance abuse, suicide, sexual abuse, physical harm, death. You name it, the book has it - which I wasn’t too keen on, I know real life can be shit but I do feel like the story could have been just as powerful without so many different types of traumatic experiences. It almost diminishes the individual experiences in isolation and makes it seem like they must have a culmination of trauma to be worthy of our empathy. That being said it was really well written, very poetic...

one day I got tired of complaining then my heart stopped aching to be loved and desired by you my attachment disintegrated as our dreams went up in flames a future cremated a present in purgatory and you did not even notice that your world was crumbling too preoccupied to have me on your mind you never saw it coming and it was happening right in front of you you ignored the signs and continued to take me for a ride but your ride has an end your vehicle only has space for one an incomplete journey caused by a dead end and instead of turning around it is time for me to get off no longer a passenger taken for granted by you

the thought of an existence without you  would shatter me into a million pieces  a million pieces which would solely exist to destroy the world for unravelling the threads that hold my heart together and fracturing my only chance at happiness you ignite the world i live in with you my faith in humanity is restored no longer a shadow of myself defying my instincts to reveal only the parts of me which people imagine to be true to the world you are formidable to me you are the world you make me believe in love

Genre: Romance Reading age: 16+ Rating: 8/10 You’ll like this if you’ve ever experienced a long term romantic relationship. They say third times a charm, so I decided to pick up another Taylor Jenkins Reid book, and let’s just say I truly think she might be becoming one of my favourite authors. Every book I’ve read by Miss Jenkins Reid is so different, from the themes to the way it’s formatted. If it wasn’t for the same quality of writing, you’d think that the books were all written by different people. After I Do is a love story in its core but more than that, I think it’s a story of self love and self discovery. Like most of us, I usually read to escape my reality, so I don’t like reading things that hit too close to home. But in a way it was refreshing to read about different approaches to love and the different journeys relationships can take. There is a real beauty in realism, and knowing that you’re not alone. The story follows the lives of Lauren and Ryan who were college (unive...

we are eggs in your basket filled to the brim perfectly identical so you never have to choose you never have to lose out on what could have been you let us be chosen by you and to be chosen by you feels like a dream a basket so full but still you cater to the team you make us feel like we are the only one chosen by you but when you take us out the basket and juggle us all at once you may get a fun party trick a tick of our approval or your hand may slip and just one may fall because you wanted us all but we all wanted to be the one chosen by you

Genre: Historical Fiction, Romance Reading age: 16+ Rating: 9.5/10 You’ll like this if you’ve read: Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I read this book shortly after watching the recent Elvis movie, which at the time didn’t feel very significant to me as I didn’t know what Daisy Jones & The Six was about, I just knew I wanted to read another Taylor Jenkins Reid book. And after reading this, I can truly say I have become mesmerised by the world of old school rock and roll. Jenkins Reid has this amazing way of writing historical fictions that feel so real, you almost don’t want to believe the characters never existed. I didn’t know much about 70’s rock but I feel like Jenkins Reid did it justice, for how well rounded the story was. You get an insight into the world from all angles, those steering, those spectating and those escaping. The good, the bad and the ugly, or in rock and roll terms - love, sex and drugs, although I’d add ‘fame’ as an honorary fourth adject...

when the ship is about to sink and you let go of your fear when you let your mind be here in this very moment acceptance will allow you to feel peace in a time of before for just one second a time of endless hope a time when you believed that there was no possibility of a time like this a life that didn’t exist to you a life that is now yours by force of nature by choice of failure to grow in the same direction two trees sowed from the same seed sowed because they were meant to be a solid foundation but when the roots aren’t strong enough and the waves come crashing all you have is the fading memories the ones you never made and this moment

Genre: Fantasy Reading age: 13+ Rating: 7/10 Another Tiktok sensation ticked off my list… I’m a big fan of the legend of King Arthur and attended a school which had a lot of influences from the legend, so once I heard it was reimagined with an element of black girl magic, this book immediately joined by TBR list. However I have mixed emotions about the story itself. For me it was hard to get stuck into and it took me much longer than usual to finish, but that being said I definitely added the second instalment of the series into my Amazon cart, once I finished this one. Even though the story is rooted in black girl magic, it doesn’t really feel that way. I think this comes from the fact that book is about a secret society with powerful white kids and for the majority of the story, the black girl is the outsider. Despite this, race is a central theme within the story, which is why I would go as far to say there’s an element of historical fiction to it with recurring references to slaver...

Genre: Historical Fiction Reading age: 13+ Rating: 7/10 You’ll like this if you’ve read: Remembered by Yvonne Battle-Felton Since Barack Obama said Vanishing Half was one of his favourite books, I’ve had my eye on the story of the Vignes twins and when I finally entered their world, I wasn’t disappointed. It was refreshing to read a historical fiction about race in America that didn’t feel too familiar to me. Although we’re all very aware of the context in which these characters lived, it was interesting to learn about the act of passing over which I hadn’t come across much before. The story touches on various depths of race struggles post slavery, most notably colourism existing within black communities.  In a small Louisianan town called Mallard, all its residents have fair skin, and the town remains that way as the town people only mix with other light skinned black people. The main storyline follows the lives of twin sisters Desiree and Stella Vignes who grew up in this town, t...

  you are in every relationship quote that i see every romance book that i read every love song that i scream from the motorway when i have to leave you for another week you are in every dream when i sleep without you next to me wishing my reality was not separate from yours wishing the air i breathe was not different from yours wishing i could fill the void of a life without you but there is no life without you the sun rises and sets with your eyes the moon follows you on your late night drive from me you control time and the world stops when we are together there is nothing out there but our paradise a garden of eden blessed beyond measure because within our hearts is where the treasure lies you are in every decision that I make any future that i envision you are the main character in my story and my love for you is the villain

Genre: Romance Reading age: 16+ Rating: 8/10 You’ll like this if you’ve read: Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks If I could describe this book in one word it would be… poetic. If you have watched moonlight or avatar, it’s knowing you’re watching a movie, or in this case, reading a book but feeling like you’re staring at a piece of moving art. Rebecca Yarros does a great job of describing the indescribable and although it may not be realistic for a character to break out into ballad-like form during everyday conversation, you understand because this book isn’t about realism, it’s about explaining the human emotions our hearts cannot articulate. The book is split into two story’s, the story of Scarlett Stanton and the story of Georgia Stanton, two generations apart but connected by love… and a book that was left unfinished. Between the alternating chapters and eras it can become tempting to read one story over the other at times but by the end of it all you underst...

the stars are aligned but there is no sense of direction no telling where we are heading or if there is an ending to this journey that sometimes feels so cold stuck in a desert with nobody to hold and the distance it crushes our souls a whiff of frankincense is an essential gift to console me through this trip to which I give my heart and time that I will never get back

when you are happy with him but you are curious about her and your blue denim jeans suddenly compliment your pink shirt and the link was always there for you to observe when the rain settled and the sun appeared the painted sky showed the world where you belong a world with no boundaries a world where they do not care if you are he or she limitless outside the binary of acceptance and wanting to be free

  to give is not to receive   or to perceive that you will get what you deserve  you can make all the effort  but may not get what you have earned  you can formulate a blueprint  but you can not lay down the bricks  that have been cemented in a brain that refuses to click  to your switch  a heart that is disconnected  a signal that is lost  a network that has been fragmented  from the start  a foundation built on words and not on actions  a script of a love that will never be enacted 

when the roses begin to wither and the chocolates are gone the jewels no longer shimmer by the rays of the sun the promises remain unstable in the atmosphere the lens of your love suddenly starts to clear and the private stories were for them not for you the movie nights built a wall to stop you getting through to deciding the names of the twins you have been trying to create every evening when there’s nothing left to say and the quotes are no longer relatable a fable of why you should remain faithful to a relationship without a label  except the drunk matching tattoos you got in Naples when you met and the ink permanently poisons your skin to remind you that within you your body is rejecting the sweet little nothings whispered in your ears by the Spotify playlist that left you unprepared for the reality

in another universe where I decided to stay at home to save money or just scroll through my phone all night instead of finding you would the stars still align for us would I have met you in a library aisle and still told you to smile or just given you looks from a distant queue in IKEA or Asda maybe we would have met through a mutual friend in ends or could we have just remained two complete strangers in another universe where I decided to stay at home could you have met someone else would she be to you what I am now and would I have remained by myself or maybe I decided to go out and you stayed at home scrolling through your phone all night would I have felt something was missing would I have felt something was not right if the stars are aligned for us then our journeys would have crossed paths in every universe destiny would coerce the collision of our hearts